Dear Diary

This Week I……

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Hi! Happy Sunday!

I’m currently lounging on the sofa in my sassy new pyjamas waiting for the final of the Womens Euros to start.

It’s been quite a long and tiring week, so, this week I…

Had a Barbecue

Actually we had 2 barbecues this week, as well as the one we had last week, I think we’ve stuffed a whole summers worth of barbecues into a week.

Barbecue number 1 was at our friends house in Hampshire, as you can see Peppa was very helpful with the cooking.

A few beers were drunk and a game of darts was played by some people who are very bad at darts. me particularly.

Barbecue number 2 was yesterday when we had some friends round for a pleasant afternoon in the garden. Unlike Mondays this feast is all veggie.


Then we planned to go to the pub, but we were all too tired after drinking gin in the sunshine so we went to sleep instead.

Had a long drive

Not quite as long as Fridays drive to Dorset, but 200 miles still takes a blooming long time.

I did take a selfie in a service station toilet wearing the lovely new jumper I accidentally bought in Sainsburys on the way down.

Got a bit of pampering

On Wednesday I had an appointment for my very first post transplant haircut. Honestly the timing wasn’t ideal as I was wiped after the weekend, but it was very exciting to finally have an actual hair style again.

Yeah that picture was taken the next morning because I didn’t take a photo outside the hairdressers as I was too busy trying to make fancy reels.

Seeing as I had dragged myself into the city I decided I should book a pedicure. Seeing as I can’t reach my feet any more.

So I had a lovely foot massage and came out with pretty painted toes.

Oh yeah, and I also accidentally tripped and fell into TK Maxx where I discovered they had Halloween stock in and accidentally bought 2 candles and a storage jar with skeletons on.

Had a Minor Meltdown

Obviously by the end of the week I was shattered, and next week is the end of my maintenance cycle which obviously never makes me anxious at all.

Then some sunflower seeds got stuck in the arms of the dishwasher, Peppa had a poorly foot again and then I was sure I saw that rat again that no one else has seen so I might just be imagining.

So I had an ”I can’t cope” meltdown and had to have a bath and a glass of wine to deal with it.

Honestly I make light of a ”meltdown”, but I am struggling with stress and fatigue. I’m having problems with my jaw because I’m unconsciously clenching my teeth all the time.

The monthly blood tests and the wait for results is a lot right now. Hopefully if I stay stable it will eventually drop to every 2-3 months, but right now it feels pretty intense. I also hate the fatigue so much. I want to go back to training clients, I want to train myself and get some of my fitness and strength back, but I just don’t have the energy to do everything.

I know I need to give myself time. But it’s tough when you’re used to being active and doing ALL THE THINGS!

Lost my key

If you’ve been reading these regularly you’ll know that I may well be losing my mind. Surely it’s too late for chemo brain now?

To add to riding to the gym without my helmet, and leaving my key in my bike lock we can now add the potentially imaginary ghost rat that I only ever see out of the corner of my eye, and losing my bike lock key completely.

I unlocked my bike, walked it to the back gate and noticed I’d left my key in the lock, took it out and put it in the pocket of my leggings.

When I got to the gym it was nowhere to be found. It’s quite hard for stuff to fall out of leggings pockets and there’s no sign of it anywhere.

Thankfully I have a spare, but where did it go? Why can’t I get to the gym without doing something stupid? Who knows.

And that was another far too tiring week in my life.

How was your week?