I like an amusing or motivational slogan vest as much as the next person. As long as it actually is amusing or motivational.

Far too many of the slogan shirts out there are, well, jut a bit cheesy. Too much “Eat Clean, Train Dirty” nonsense and not enough giggles for me. I can’t quite bring myself to wear those shirts, because honestly I’m quite fond of eating dirty, and well, what does train dirty mean? If it means rolling around in mud, no thanks.

So today I’ve tracked down 10 of my favourite (mostly) non-cheesy workout vests with slogans, all available on Etsy.

Run Like Darryl Has No Arrows

Having just finished season 6 of the Walking Dead, this particularly appeals to me right now.

Darryl Tank


Training for the Zombie Apocalypse Tank

On a similar, but more generalised theme, this shirt works if you know that rule 1 of the Zombie Apocalypse is Cardio, but also if you know it takes quite a lot of strength to cave in a Zombies head with a spade.

Zombie Apocalypse tank

Training to Become Dauntless Tank

Keeping with the pop culture theme for now this tank will be nice an relevant when the new Allegiant movie comes out later this year.il_570xN.879740204_c6lr

Overly Aggressive Motivational Statement Tank

Because I don’t actually want to workout till I puke, m-kay?

Overly Agressive Motivational Statement

Everything Hurts & I’m Dying Tank

Because what I really want from my workout tops is a little honesty.

Everything hurts and I'm dying

T-Rex Hates Burpees

We all hate burpees, burpees are evil, but T-Rex hates burpees most of all.t rex hates burpees

Training to be a Majestic Unicorn Tank

I’m not sure what exactly is involved in the majestic unicorn training programme, but as soon as I find out I am totally on it.

Training to be a Unicorn

Fierce Glitter Lightning tank

At first I wasn’t sure if this was starting to veer slightly into the cheesy territory. Then I decided if glitter lightning was wrong, I didn’t want to be right. I would get it in black, rather than pink though, just to be on the safe side.

Fierce tank

Bang! Workout Tank

Because I really like comic book prints, so I figured if you do too, you might like this.

Pop Art tank

I Don’t Trip I do Random Gravity Checks

Last on the list is kind of a cheesy joke, but it was funny enough to make me snort, so it just made it in the end. Just make sure if you fall over wearing this you have the presence of mind to announce to the world that the gravity is fine, and possibly pull out a little tick sheet.

Random Gravity Checks