December 4, 2024
Chicago 12, Melborne City, USA
Inspiration & Lifestyle

Why Goal Setting is Pointless

We all know about SMART goal setting, right?

They have to be

[alert type=green ]Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timely[/alert]

Yeah, that’s awesome, and once we set those goals, we work on our “process goals”. We tell ourselves that if we just do this, and this, and this on a regular basis then within 6 months we’ll have nailed it.

So why don’t we? Why do we miss so many of our goals?

I’m going to use weight loss as an example, because it’s a goal that I set myself many times over the years.

I would say, “I want to lose a stone in 2 months”.

That meets all the SMART goal setting criteria. Totally doable.

Then I’d promise to weigh in every week, and promise to stick to a calorie limit 6 days out of 7, and promise to reward myself for every pound I lose, and promise to go to the gym 3 times a week and spend an hour on the treadmill.

And then I’d lose 4lb in the first week, and then put it all back on again by the end of the first month.

Why?

Because secretly I didn’t give a crap about losing weight and I forgot to take into account that I am not a robot who can be programmed with a goal and left to get on with it.

Seeing as we’re so close to the switch over from my old blog to here, I will use it as another example. Retro Chick always had far more visitors than this site. It was busy and it was making me money, so even though the concept of it didn’t excite me any more I set myself goals to grow it. I promised myself I would plan posts ahead, I made process goals to promote them and grow my social media following and visitors.

And then I achieved nothing. Because I forgot that what excited me about blogging wasn’t the numbers, or the money (but that is nice, you can’t pay bills with a warm fuzzy feeling), it was when I got comments and emails from people saying that I’d made a difference in their lives in some teeny tiny way. That a blog post had affected them, or even helped them find a frock for a wedding.

Setting goals is a totally pointless endeavour, unless we really understand our own motivations first.

When we set that weight loss goal, we forgot to think about the why. Unless that goal really meshes with what you truly want out of your lifeĀ right now.Ā You’re never going to make those hard steps towards achieving it. Turns out that actually what we want from life is to eat pizza with our friends, and skip the gym to go to the pub.

Think about what you really want from your life. Think about your motivations. Before you even think about setting pointless goals you’ll never reach, imagine what your life looks like when you’ve met your goals.

Once you’ve lost that imaginary stone, are you imagining your future life to be one where you dress in amazing clothes and go out to dinner feeling fabulous, or are you imagining a future where that stone in weight loss means that you can run faster and take up a new sport.

If it’s the first one, then maybe losing a stone isn’t your goal at all, maybe feeling fabulous is your goal. Maybe it’s time to work towards how you can feel fabulous right now and learning to love yourself for the amazing, fun-loving, pizza-eating person you really are.

If it’s the second one, then maybe losing a stone isn’t your goal at all, maybe taking up a new sport is your goal. Maybe you should think about how you can take up a new sport right now, and maybe all the other stuff will come when you have that to work toward.

With my blog I realised that setting myself “success goals” was pointless, as what I was interested in was making a connection with people. I wanted to share what I’d learned and inspire people to try new things. That’s why higher numbers were just even more depressing when they didn’t come with more interaction. My goal wasn’t really to get higher numbers, it was to make more connections.

Too often when we think about goal setting we get stuck on the “specific” and “measurable” parts. We want numbers attached so we know exactly how well we’re doing.

So, instead of setting SMART goals, I try to set LIFF goals.

[alert type=green ]Long-Term
Intuitive
Flexible
Feasible[/alert]

I tried for a long time to find a word ending with E that fitted what I wanted so I could make that spell LIFE, but sometimes we just have to accept failure.

LIFF goals include a long-term vision of the future that resonates with who you are and your personal values. They should still be realistic, but also flexible, so that as your situation changes your vision may change, and your goals change with it.

Once you have that vision of your future, you can ask yourself if your actions fit in with that vision. If they don’t, that’s where we set ourselves “process goals” to make those small, every day changes that add up to the future we dreamed of.

Does your future vision of you sleep in till noon, or is she up by 5am and at the gym? (Mine definitely sleeps in till noon). Is she spending most of her day at meetings being high-powered and go-getting, or is she making just enough money to take nice holidays and spending her afternoons in a coffee shop with friends?

That vision can also help you make a big leap. When opportunities come up we’re often too scared to say yes as it would mean a big change. If you can imagine that opportunity as a step on your way to your LIFF goal (srsly, there must be a word beginning with E.) then it can make taking that leap a bit easier, and the rest of your vision and goals can adapt around it.

What I really want from my life isn’t high blog numbers, a size 8 figure and lots of money. So setting myself financial targets, weight loss goals and follower figures to achieve is pointless. I want to be able to live my life without worry and stress, I want to have control of my own future, I want to be strong and competitive in sports and I want to be able to write about things that inspire me and make me who I am.

Goal setting can be a great tool to help you work towards a future that will truly make you happy. But only if you first understand what that future actually is.

administrator
Personal Trainer, blogger, red lipstick wearer and Cocktail drinker. Learning to enjoy the journey.

15 Comments

  • Mum x July 6, 2017

    I don’t suppose ‘Easy’ fits…..shame xxx

  • Fiona Phillips July 6, 2017

    This is great advice and spot on. My future vision of a slimmer me isn’t actually about the ‘slimmer’ bit but about being healthier and staying healthy. I turned 50 last year. I want another 50 years, thank you very much. Thanks for sharing.

  • Kimmie Doris July 6, 2017

    Love your site and the fusion of retro chick to lipstick lettuce Lycra. You always inspire me and I really enjoy how inspiring and thoughtful you are in a really natural everyday way.

    • Lady Lipstick July 6, 2017

      Thank you šŸ˜€ That means a lot! x

  • Naomi July 6, 2017

    Energising maybe? As in they make you raring to go? Your words are great but your stationery is giving me palpitations of joy.

    • Lady Lipstick July 6, 2017

      TK Maxx, they have the best stationery! šŸ˜‰

  • Laura July 7, 2017

    ‘Expedient’? (I just Googled ‘synonyms for feasible’, ha ha!) I love this post, some really good advice here!

    • Lady Lipstick July 7, 2017

      I just looked expedient up and it says “convenient or practical, but possibly immoral or improper”!

  • Sophikita July 7, 2017

    Awesome post! Have followed you here from Retro Chick, what keeps me reading is your down to earth, humourous thoughts and writing style. This was thought provoking as I’m on the brink of a change of direction and really need to ponder exactly what makes me happy and what I want to do. Easy to get caught up in status or what other people think. Far harder and more satisfying to take time to consider what’s most important to me. Thanks.

    • Lady Lipstick July 7, 2017

      Thank you! And welcome to the new home! I’m still settling in myself!
      Sometimes working out what makes you happy is surprisingly hard!

  • Lexi Lawrence July 7, 2017

    You make such a good point about motivation, and first analysing the root of your goal. It is so integral to the outcome. Really interesting post!

    LEXI LIKES

  • Cynthia July 12, 2017

    I’m following a link from a friend and here for the first time. What a thoughtful post. For ‘E’ words, what come to mind for me are ‘economical’ (giving good value or service in relation to the amount of money, time, or effort spent) or ‘elegant’ (pleasingly ingenious and simple solution to a problem / stylish) or ‘effective’. How nice to discover you!

    • Lady Lipstick July 12, 2017

      Hi, welcome! I like Elegant and Effective!

  • shoestringthreads July 19, 2017

    Oh my goodness thank you! I’m feeling pretty rubbish about my life in general at the moment and have desperately been trying to set goals to make me a “better” person in the hope that happiness will follow. I’m going to sit down and have a big old rethink about my motivation for change and how to set better goals. Stuck for a suitable “E” word though. Encouraging? Not remotely the same as feasible but at least it fits the acronym! X

    • Lady Lipstick July 26, 2017

      I’ve spent plenty of time thinking I’ll be a better person if I can only do X and X and then feeling like a failure when I don’t! Sometimes it’s about accepting who you are and what you are, and realising what would really make you happy.

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