I’ve found myself using this phrase a bit recently.
Am I too old for cute? I wondered about this outfit which I thought made me look a bit like I was off to ballet school this weekend.
Am I too old to be throwing myself around the floor on my knees I wondered when I strained my thigh muscle at Roller Derby practice this Monday (more on that sometime, as it is a “new thing”)
Am I too old to drink this much? Eat this food? Wear these stupidly high platform shoes? Read this book? Watch this TV Show? Ruffles? Bows? Pink?
I’ve just turned 34. I know, you can’t tell, right?
I’m sure I saw a grey hair lurking when I temporarily let my hair do its natural thing, and those lines around my eyes are definitely more noticeable than they were just a year or so ago.
But I don’t feel old.
Sometimes I feel like I didn’t even remember how to live till I was in my 30s. I know who I am now more than I ever did in my 20s (I’m really annoying, in case you wondering, I just don’t care as much now). I’m not afraid to wear stupid clothes in case people judge me. I’m MORE inclined to experiment, not less. That doesn’t mean I don’t care and it doesn’t hurt if people say mean things, just that I now have the tools to judge those comments on their merits, take what I need and discard the rest. Speaking to friends who share my advanced years, ones I’ve known since school and new ones, it seems I’m not alone.
So why do we consider experimentation the preserve of the young?
When I was about 13 I wore a lycra mini dress with 60s style red and yellow block squares on the bodice. I wore it with sheer tights and over the knee socks. I was recreating an outfit I’d seen on the teenage daughter in ye olde British SitCom 2point4 Children and I thought I looked the bees knees. Then 2 girls, girls in high ponytails and early 90s Kappa tracksuits, laughed at me in the shopping centre, and I never wore that outfit again. These days I’d have sneered at their poor fashion sense, whinged about them a bit on twitter, and then totally put that outfit back into my regular wardrobe.
Maybe 30 actually *is* the new 20.
In our (my) early 30s we’re doing all the things we should have been doing as rebellious teens and 20s, dying our (my) hair lilac, taking up new hobbies, experimenting with fashion. But in our teens and 20s we (I) were too busy trying to figure out how we could make £5 worth of ClubCard vouchers stretch to a whole weeks worth of shopping and whether everyone was looking at us thinking we were fat.
Are we growing up faster or slower, or are our teenage years just stretching out to meet us at either end? The papers are periodically full of stories about the “Death of Childhood” and how children are growing up too fast, but grown ups are spending their money on video games and Hello Kitty notepaper.
As it happens, I’m not sure I care. I’m desperately looking forward to being the sort of woman you see on Advanced Style. The ones wearing orange body warmers and hot pink cats eye glasses at 84, or wafting around an apartment in a kimono and red lipstick with a cocktail glass.
PICTURE by Anne-Marii
In my “not really advanced at all” old age I’ve realised that there are no rules and having the guts to try something new and follow your own path is what makes amazing people amazing. Just because everyone else has the path your life is supposed to follow mapped out for you doesn’t mean you have to follow it.
If you want to go sky diving at 70, then go. If you’re 35 with no children and want to watch Horrible Histories all afternoon then why not (as long as you’re not at work, otherwise you won’t be able to afford any more Hello Kitty notepaper)? And if you want to wear purple suede gloves and dangly earrings in your 80s then do it, because you don’t get any bonus points at the end of your life for having played by the rules.
Comments
87 responses to “Too Old?”
I love this post. I’m often wondering the same thing, but then I decide that I just don’t care (which makes me feel even older because in my younger days, it would have bothered me).
And no, you’re not too old for cute…great outfit!
Uh-huh.
I often think, “Am I too old for this?” The questions we should really be asking ourselves is, “Is this hurting anyone and, as long as it isn’t, why should I give a toss about the opinions of people who neither know or care for me.”
Bless, you’re just a pup anyway. I’m 40 next birthday. I sometimes wonder if things will make me look a bit Bette-Davis-as-Baby-Jane, and then realise that as long as I’m aware of it and step out prepared to rock it, that’ll be fine. The worst thing would be to get dated, never changing, pretending to be 25 for a lifetime.
Absolutely. My mother is a much revered and admired grandparent to my kids and their friends, due to her magnificent silver-blond hair reaching down to her bottom, and the bright cerise streak that she dyes into it… and the scarves and pretty jewellery she wears, and her tendency to get stuck up trees in the woods and play horribly inappropriate games and songs with them. I really hope that I grow old as disgracefully and with as much joy. Life is far too short, and as OW said, youth is wasted on the young.
Dammit! I wish I’d remembered that quote for the post 😀
Your Mum sounds amazing!
I’ve been contemplating this too recently. My daughter was very annoyed when I collected her from school with my bandana on (!) and I was on holiday last week in a polka dot bikini complete with frills and wondered if I was kidding myself at 39?! However, I feel more confident than ever before, I’ve finally started to let go of body issues and enjoy dressing the body I have and just want to have some fun. Can’t be much wrong with that?
Karen – She’ll appreciate having you as a Mother when she’s older!
RT @Retrochick_uk: Am I Too Old? http://t.co/eR3PdtesmO
I’m the same age as you, and I still wear ribbons in my hair and ‘party tights’ (my other half laughs when I do, but finds it endearing rather than terrible, I hope!). I’ve never been physically fitter, happier, or had such an extensive wardrobe as I do right now, so I’m definitely not longing for my younger days, which quite frankly were extremely hard. Yes, getting older does come with a few grey hairs and wrinkles, but being fabulous doesn’t have a best-before date, and style and glamour are attainable whatever age you are.
My new aim for retirement:
“wafting around an apartment in a kimono and red lipstick with a cocktail glass”
I can visualise this!!
A good topic, and very relevant in an ‘ageing society’, thanks for posting about this.
Px
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Never too old – do what you want, wear what you want and be who you want – it’s only a number at the end of the day!!!
Everything you have said in this post is so true! At 19, I hope I remember this post well into my 30’s. I sometimes feel like a grandma in a 19 year old body, and wish I was rebellious like other teenagers, but maybe it’s just not my time to do silly things just yet. Right now, I am comfortable with who I am though, which I am guessing is the point of this post, and I really am starting to love and embrace my own sense of style above what is trendy. Thanks for sharing, and I think that outfit is gorgeous on you! xx
RT @Retrochick_uk: Am I Too Old? http://t.co/eR3PdtesmO
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I love you. Just sayin.
I love you too 😀
Love this! I turned 32 today and was just pondering if I’m ‘too old’ for the gorgeous bordello genie shoes I got from my husband. The answer is no, I love them and they make me feel fabulous so that’s all that matters!
I’ve become anxious as I’ve got older about looking ‘ridiculous’. It’s a word that gets bandied around about non-young women who don’t choose to opt for a sensible, less visible, way of dressing as they age. It feels as if society wants us to disappear as we pass child-bearing age – after all, women over 40 disappear from our news programmes. Those who survive are the ones who look younger or who are still considered sexy. The tendency to applaud women over 40 who ‘still look hot’ is something that pisses me off immensely. Helen Mirren is constantly praised for managing to still be considered sexually attractive, rather than for her actual achievements. It also reinforces the idea that if you’re middle-aged and NOT hot, you have no value, except maybe as a grandma.
As a 40 year old, I find myself, often just on the edge of my consciousness, questioning whether what I am wearing is ‘appropriate’ for my age – but why should I? Why should any of us, at any age? Why should our age dictate our wardrobes? The media shaming of women who are ‘mutton-dressed-as-lamb’ has instilled in me a terrible fear of looking what others deem ‘ridiculous’ and wearing anything more unusual, like vintage, feels higher risk. But screw it, fashion is meant to be about fun, not fear, and I’ve been breaking the rules about clothes since I was 10 – why stop now?
I unfollowed a Facebook page recently for posting a “women who still look hot at 40” thing. Like looking young is the only ambition.
I can’t deny occasionally looking at some of the changes that happen to my face and thinking “hmm, preferred that before” but you can’t hold back the tide, and trying only makes you look more “ridiculous” surely? You look amazing Hannah, always, you should certainly have no fear of looking “ridiculous” 😀
The mistake today is that being over 40 means you are unable to bear children or will have problems when you do, I think it’s something stone age males brought into the media to control the females’ And we believe it’ Out of fear. Not being able to conceive starts years earlier’ I accept what is natural in life, and don’t let myself be ruled by media. Be thin’ have Kids now’ and make enough money’ keep your man by being wonder woman-.- you have to be a lonely ranger in way with a strong mind to stay Young!
Great post! I am turning 30 in August (eeeeek!!! *palpitations*) and have found myself thinking a lot about whether I am ‘too old’ for certain outfits, hairstyles, accessories, more and more lately. I definitely feel confident enough to rock whatever I want, however there is still a voice in my head that lets me know I’m not 16 anymore…
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You’re fab, you have expressed exactly how I feel! I’m the same age as you, and I want to spend my time being me, not someone else’s idea of what a married lady in her 30s should look like. I’m happy in my skin and love experimenting with new things. This weekend is set aside for new hairstyles (inspired by your post the other day)
I’m nearly 28 and I recently realised that I no longer care as much about what people think of my wardrobe.
I wear t-shirts with 80s cartoon characters on them (and older than that – Betty Boop!) all the time. I wear flowers in my hair, wear purple Doc Martens, houndstooth print jeans, flowery dresses (not all at the same time you understand… it might clash just a smidgen). And if the heels on my Iron Fist shoes weren’t so high I’d probably wear them everyday.
Casually though I do have a tendency to dress ‘like a teenager’ – jeans, Converse and t-shirt. I do sometimes get mistaken for a teenager (which are moments that no longer embarrass me).
And I plan on continuing to wear what I want for many years to come.
Love this post. We know ourselves better as we get older and with any luck get more confident and, like you say, perhaps finally start to get over all those body hang-ups, or like you and me, take up exercise to do something about it. Whether or not you have kids probably effects this, but personally I am and will remain child-free through choice so I don’t know whether I will ever feel properly “grown up”. I do sometimes feel, at 38, that a skirt is too short or something is too frilly, but on the other hand I have a terror of looking & feeling frumpy and grown up.
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I’m 35 now and have always wanted to look different to everyone else – *show off* – but when I had my son last year I found myself thinking whether I should pack away some of my more weird bits and some vintage pieces and start being a bit more ‘mum’. Thankfully I’ve come to my senses – being able to get back into said weird clothes helps! – and am fully intending to turn up at the school gates in sequins and bright red lipstick. LOVE Advanced Style, what a wonderful blog, and have you checked out Desiree on http://pullyoursoxup.blogspot.co.uk? She’s AMAZING! Don’t ever feel you have to conform to someone else’s idea of how you should look as a woman. It’s bullsh*t!
Ladies you all read my mind I’ve started wearing extravagant clothing and trying different hair do’s and everyone says they suit me – your as old as you feel and intend to grow old disgracefully lol x
Thank you for this post. I am going to be 40 tomorrow and sometimes I wonder whether I am too old to dress and behave as I do. I’m just getting into vintage style fashion (1940s, to be specific), I’m curling my hair and for the first time in my life, I’m brave enough to wear red lipstick everyday. Then I think about one of my friends who is 60+. She has purple hair, wears what she likes and is one of the most creative people I know. I asked her once if you get to an age where you feel sensible and grown up, and she replied, “I don’t know, I’m still waiting for that”. As I’ve got older, I’ve become less self-conscious. I just don’t care what other people think and I value individuality in others.
Hear Hear!!!
No apology for commenting again – I’ve just read through the rest of the comments and you’re all so YOUNG! Ge a grip, stop worrying about age or the “right thing” get out there and LIVE LIFE, you only get one!
Not that anyone will be interested, I’m 62.
Ha ha! I think age is always relative to how old YOU are! When you’re 15, 30 is grown up, but when you hit 30 it’s still young!
Great post! I do ask myself if I should wear something. In my teens I’ve been bullied a lot about how i looked. So i still care a lot about what others think of me. I know I shouldn’t, but there is still a voice in my head which tells me that I shouldn’t stand out. The last years I try to ignore that little voice and go for my own style. Not only dressing up at home and change to something else when I go outside like I did during my teens. It’s hard, but it also gives me a feeling of freedom.
Yes, yes, yes! I just turned 36 and I find myself asking these questions, too. (Although I admit: it does make me shudder a bit when I see women in their early-to-mid 20s asking if they are too old for certain things when I have a decade on them. They’re too young to think that! lol) I don’t think I really knew how to be me and who I was until I was at least 30. I’m trying to keep in mind now that experimentation with style is more fun when you’re more confident about yourself, and I know I’m personally way more confident in my 30s than I was in my teens or 20s. Not that I didn’t experiment then, but I usually felt like your self-conscious teen self being laughed at by those other girls.
Of course, the questions of if you’re “too old” still creep in, especially when you’re constantly surrounded by youth in advertising… it makes me crazy that the only “older” (only 40s!) women are in ads trying pushing products to make you youthful. I LIKE being in my 30s. I don’t wish I was younger. I want to grow old with flair, with fun, with grace and with attitude.
p.s. I just bought a Hello Kitty holder for my toothbrush. 😉
I’m 45 this year, and a grandma to 8, and still wear whatever I like, whatever makes me feel glam and sexy, and I love my pin up/rockabilly/vintage ‘look’ I stopped buying magazines years ago as I was sick of all this ‘anti-ageing’ nonsense. As I have no intention of popping-off anytime soon I expect my wrinkles and grey hair (which appeared before I was 30) to be with me for some time!!!!! I’m certainly not too old for cute and my new poodle jumper, Littlewoods online check it out! X
Here here! Just turned 34 myself and am definitely *just* figuring not only my style, but my life. You are NEVER too old.
Was thinking the same only yesterday! I say if what you do isn’t hurting anyone, then carry on. I’m 51 & have far more confidence than I did in my 20’s & don’t care what anyone thinks about my clothes. I wear them for me not them. Your outfit is great. Go girl!
RT @Retrochick_uk: Loving the comments on todays post about being too old! http://t.co/eR3PdtesmO
@Retrochick_uk You look great! I’m a 30’s something vintage lover & I proudly wear what I wish :D. Let others be plain & boring I say.
@Retrochick_uk Turned 30 this year. I worry about dressing like a 5 yr old. Then I see an OAP rocking the leopard and I think, hells yeah!
@Retrochick_uk I worry about looking too cutesy & young and I’m only 23! Clearly I need to get over myself and fully embrace the frills 🙂
RT @Retrochick_uk: Loving the comments on todays post about being too old! http://t.co/eR3PdtesmO
Yeah, I definitely need to stop being afraid my outfits are too girly & young! “Too Old?” http://t.co/jBL6ztNIHS via @Retrochick_uk.
As I approach 30, I love @retrochick_uk post on “Too Old?” and finally being herself in her 30s… http://t.co/tbBbiwIJPt
Sometimes I feel like I didn’t even remember how to live till I was in my 30s. I know who I am now more than I… http://t.co/pSpEtkvkyU
I don’t think you’re ever too old for cute! 🙂
Absolutely loved this post! I’ve found my 30s to be brilliant for self discovery. I’ve only got a year and a half left, so I wonder what my 40s will bring.
When I was in my 20s I went through this appalling phase of wearing suits and greige stuff from ‘The White Company’ because I thought that was what grown up professionals did. Sadly some people live their life thinking that! Thank goodness I grew out of it and started dressing like an idiot again.
@Retrochick_uk it was a fab post!
Oh my. I just LOVE this and it is moi sentiment EXACTLY! I am 41 this year and have NEVER FELT BETTER!!!!! I had a big party for my 40th with a HELLO KITTY cake!!! Rock it babe! xxxx L
Love this post – I’m 27 and really, really sick of people my age declaring that they are “too old” to make dressing up/life fun, and intend to wear nothing besides tweed pencil skirts from now on (nothing against tweed pencil skirts – I’ll happily strut around in one channelling my inner Marilyn all day, but maybe the next day I’ll want to wear a tutu and a big bow in my hair). I do catch myself worrying about how much longer I can go on pretending I’m still a teenager, but it’s FUN – I feel like I’m only just becoming “myself” now, and hope I never stop wanting to experiment with clothes, life, everything…
Sam Muses xx
Talking to a dressmaker recently, choosing vintage fabric, I said I wasn’t interested in cloth patterns/novelties that were particularly ‘youthful’. It felt odd to say it but in my 50s it’s certainly what I feel. Not about avoiding drawing attention to myself in the great lamb/mutton tradition, but rather that I want my style to express what I am now and what I know now. That’s probably why the dress with the fruit all over it stays in the closet these days and why I choose a plain turban with gloves.
I think I have the opposite, I never think I’m too old, I’m 46 by the way and not that far off 47! I think if you’re happy with what you are wearing and enjoy it you are never too old. I still have dyed red hair, and my only concession would be when I get VERY wrinkly I may tone the colour down a shade or two so it’s not too harsh but nope I won’t be changing. I have friends in their 60s who are going to an event I’m going to this weekend who still wear their best vintage western stuff when out and about, and they look fab. Mind you I’m not a worrying type and I don’t much care what other people think so maybe that’s why i don’t worry :o)
I always think the ladies of Advanced Style are great examples of how to grow old in style (well, the clue is in the name, I suppose!). I do hope I can be as beautiful and confident as they are when I get to their age.
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This is such a brilliant post! A lightbulb just went off above my head and a sign flashing ‘Me too!’ I am so much happier in my skin (and clothes) at 32 than in my 20’s or teens, and looking back I see how much energy I wasted trying to ‘fit in’ and worrying that I didn’t like dressing like everyone else… Thank you for expressing what is in my head so clearly!
AMEN!
I think you look great and very appropriate for your age. I much prefer seeing a 34 year old glamorous gal in retro gear to seeing a 45 year old in bum-cheek shorts (which is apparently very appropriate in some towns now. eww). I really like the top
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Great post and questions, Gemma! You always look great and like you are having fun and that is all that matters. I dislike magazine articles that tell us what to wear at certain ages. I’m 41, BTW, and if I want to wear a mini skirt, I will. What I find interesting about my current age is that the 20’s and 30’s were a journey to discover new things and gain a sense of self. Now that I am in my 40’s I can fully reconnect with my inner core of interests that I had as a teenager. I no longer care if they are not in style or if no one else is into them. I am no longer searching or trying to be grown-up. I am completely myself. I think that is what makes the lovely ladies in advanced style so intriguing. They don’t care what anyone else thinks, and haven’t for a long time.
I’m 31, and sometimes get that “am I too old” feeling too, but you know what? I don’t ever intend to imprison myself in someone elses idea of what I should be wearing, I recently came across a great piece of wisdom in a book which was along the lines of, we wouldn’t care what people thought about us if we realised how seldom they do. The only person you need to please is you. Xx
Great post, Gemma! Everything you said is true. I’m 29 and just beginning to live my life the way I want to, dress the way I want to and feel more confident than ever before. I’m very happy not to be 22 and confused anymore. Even though I don’t really care much about what other people that don’t know me think about me anymore, I occasionally ask myself if I look or act appropriate or “my age”. It’s as if we are taught to think like that even though it’s complete nonsense. The most important thing in life is to be happy, make our loved ones happy and to have fun! Whenever I think about the way I act or look and wonder what others may think, I’ll remember your post! It’s true what Amaryllis wrote: Youth actually IS wasted on the young that often don’t know how to enjoy it. After all, youth is an attitude!
Thank you, what a lovely post! There are so many silly people out there frowning on individuality and there is no point in paying any attention to them as you can never please everyone anyway. So wear you ballerina skirts, beautiful vintage hair pieces and amazing lipstick with pride, life is all about happiness in the long run anyway x
I very much agree with you! I used to be really concerned about what people would think of me and therefore, I wouldn’t wear what I liked at situations where there was a chance they might reject me for it. The last year or so, I’ve been trying to care less about what people will think of my appearance (because really, no matter how hard you try to please everyone, you just can’t and there will always be someone who doesn’t like the way you look) and have been trying to wear what I like. I can’t say I’ve always been successful, but I have definitely started to feel a lot more confident about my style and the outfits that I wear, which I think is really positive.