Well really this should be called Last Week I… because I’m publishing it on Monday because to be honest I completely didn’t realise yesterday was Sunday.

It’s been that kind of a year hasn’t it really.

Anyway, now we’re here I’m going to apologise for last weeks mini meltdown. I did not deal with self isolation well, the fear of getting ill, making other ill, how we would cope if we were ill and all the other unknowns overwhelmed my control freak brain and I had a bit of a meltdown. Honestly I’m pretty desperate to avoid being in that situation again, but at the moment it’s all quite one day at a time.

I’m really sorry if any of you are affected by yesterday’s announcement about Tier 4 and Christmas. It totally sucks, but I hope everyone can find a way to make Christmas special, even if they’re alone. We’re an imaginative bunch!

But enough waffle, this week I….

Went outside

It was amazing.

On Monday I got a text confirming that the change to 10 days isolation meant I could go outside from Wednesday.

Turns out over a week doing nothing had REALLY broken my back, but I had a little limp round on a run and bought a coffee anyway.

It didn’t do a lot to extinguish my anxiety, as I still knew there was a chance I could get ill, or that I’d been asymptomatic and someone else could get ill, but at least I could be anxious in the fresh air…..

Had a birthday party

Because Wednesday was my Mums birthday.

She was supposed to visit last week, but obviously THAT didn’t happen, so instead we all ordered a takeaway and watched each other eat over Zoom, then had some cocktails.

It was very enjoyable. Good things about 2020, I have discovered technology that means I see my family more than I did in 2019.

Got cheered up by a tree

Towards the end of the week I started to make a real effort to dig myself out of this anxious funk.

I was in a lot of pain with my back, at points it hurt to lift a fork, plus struggling to deal with Covid related anxiety, still taking my temperature multiple times a day and wondering if that tight chest was Covid or panic.

Then when we took the Pugs for a walk we found a tree that had been decorated with cards from all the dog walkers and I had a little rush of optimism. Which was nice.

Went for a socially distanced walk

On Sunday, when I should have been writing this but totally forgot what day it was. I had a visit from a friend and we went for a walk in the woods to forage for greenery to make Yule wreaths.

We sat at opposite ends of a long bench and ate mince pies and drank mulled wine

Then we left fat balls for the birds and went home to fall asleep because lunch time mulled wine makes you sleepy.

Made a Yule wreath

Because I had the greenery, now I needed to make something with it.

My aesthetic and craft skills are not top notch, plus I’d forgotten to get important things like wire, but I made a little star shaped wreath for my front door.

And that was another week in my life.

Thank you to those of you that were so lovely when I was freaking out last week. I really appreciate, and I will try and be braver in future.

How was your week?