DAY ELEVEN – A Vintage Handbag and Scarf from What Alice Found
December 11, 2013
Exercise, My Body and Me
December 11, 2013Oh dear, Retro Chick is getting ranty about dress sizes again.
I’ve written a lot on the topic of vanity sizing and our relationships with our body size, but this morning I read an article entitled “Would you rather be a ‘Marilyn’ than a size 14” on the Guardian website and I felt the urge to get ranty again.
I’m not even going to start with the whole “Marilyn was a size 14″ thing, she wasn’t a modern 14, lets leave her and her 23” waist to one side for a moment. My rant button was pressed more by the content of the article. The general gist of it is that clothing size labels make us aware of our “figure flaws” and make us compare ourselves to other women in a negative light. It suggests that a solution to vanity sizing frustrations would be to scrap numerical labelling and start afresh labelling clothes as “burlesque” or “Marilyn”, or other words with positive connotations. Whilst I might agree that the labels “stout”, “average” and “slender” could carry some negative connotations and make you feel a bit rubbish, the fact is we don’t use these any more, and basing your self esteem on the arbitrary number someone printed on a piece of fabric and sewed into your dress is a pretty sad state of affairs.
The whole concept of a “flawed” figure is worrying to me. I’ve spent plenty of time in my life feeling like a freak because I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t wear a pencil dress from a High Street shop. I just didn’t get it. It might sound stupid but the concept that bodies could be different SHAPES as well as sizes never occurred to me and it wasn’t something that anyone ever mentioned in all those pointless PSHE classes about our changing bodies. When that piece of information finally clicked into place in my late 20s the world of shopping made a lot more sense. My wide hips and narrow waist aren’t a “figure flaw” because they vary from the pattern a shop cuts to, they’re simply part of me, regardless of my size I will never be able to buy that style of dress from certain shops and have them fit as they should.
It also bothers me the idea that we should shy away from damaging Women’s self esteem by suggesting that they are over weight when they shop for clothes. Frankly this whole concept irks me. If you’re overweight and unhealthy then you are overweight and unhealthy, if having to buy a size 18 makes you do something about it then I say yay! If you are perfectly happy being a size 18 then I also say yay! Good for you. Body confidence is something you can have whatever your size, but the problem isn’t with our poor delicate psyches being damaged by having to buy bigger size clothes, it’s with our whole attitude to Women’s bodies and their respective sizes. I have as many issues with the fat positive movement as I do with our obsession with thinness as both focus on appearance rather than the health and abilities of our bodies or even our minds.
Clothing sizes aren’t judgemental, it’s just a number on a scale, people are judgemental. The issue is the value society puts on Women’s bodies as a decorative object and the resulting pressure we put on ourselves to fit into an ideal. It doesn’t matter if your dress size is “Burlesque” or a “14”, if you’re trained to think the ideal size is “Twiggy” then not buying “Twiggy” will make you feel bad. We still think it’s fine to feel smug when we hear that the skinny girl we hated from school is now 15stone (she’s also a succesful lawyer, but she’s FAT!), maybe if we didn’t put so much value on our bodies appearance and more on its health and what it can do then we wouldn’t need to vanity size things or give dress sizes names in order to avoid upsetting people.
Next time you catch yourself wishing you were buying a smaller size, or comparing your clothes size to other Women, stop, think about why you place so much value on that arbitrary number, think about what it says about the value of you as a Woman and what you’d rather be valued for. Don’t let your defining characteristic be the number on your clothes label.
I’ve written about my changing relationship with my body over on Lipstick, Lettuce & Lycra today.
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RT @Retrochick_uk: Figure “Flaws”, Fashion and Futility: http://t.co/3AvgdwTupg
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Oh god, what? “Burlesque size”???? But… isn’t the point of burlesque that people of all shapes and sizes do it? So if they made a 16 “Burlesque”, how the hell would that make people who are an 8 or a 22 feel, who do burlesque? What utter garbage!
I shall prevent myself from ranting, but for Gawd’s sake…. :-/
Apropos of not very much… human beings have been buying off the peg for a very brief period. It was always made-to-measure in the past – either by yourself or by a local dressmaker. Some things could be bought pre-made, but always with the idea that you or your dressmaker would alter it to fit you. Off-the-peg doesn’t really work, does it?!
She does say that about off the peg in the article. She suggests that the move to ready to wear means women have a scale to judge themselves by and that in the past when we made things to fit or visited a dressmaker we had no idea how we compared. True, I guess, but not sure how changing the names to “Burlesque” is going to help 😀
Brilliant article. In June I took a good hard look at myself and decided that health had to be my target. I want a healthy figure (in my own way – not defined by others) and I’m happy to accept whatever size that requires. My daughter, at 11 years old, is already feeling the tug to conform to what is seen as beautiful and the ‘right’ shape which I find incredibly worrying and sad.
@Retrochick_uk Having recently been stressed over personal measurements,its so important to put some perspective on things! Thank you!! 🙂
You are wonderful! This is so well written and speaks on so many levels of difficulties faced by women, that hold us back. Thank you so much! It has taken me years to be comfortable with the fact that I have a very small bust. Years of money and time wasted on padded bras and vanity sizing (Victoria’s Secret 34B I am not, yet this is what they told me)
I’m glad to finally be comfortable is my own (bra less) skin!
I often wonder what I could have achieved with all the time I wasted on hating myself… Maybe reading a few more good books, or encouraging others to find happiness in health rather than the desire to bra certain size.
Well said Retro Chick! What indeed is the point of ‘Marilyn’ if everybody wants to be a ‘Twiggy’? Since I got into vintage clothing and sewing my own clothes I’ve cared less and less about high street size labels as they are completely misleading. And I’ve stopped giving myself such a hard time about my figure as a result. Hooray!
I haven’t struggled with body issues for a long time. I used to but I’ve sort of forgotten how it feels. I’m a size 12/14 but I’d like to be a size 10 because that’s probably the size I’ll be when I’m at my fittest and most toned. I don’t feel bad picking up a size 14. It’s just the size I am.
I also agree with you on the fat positive/thin obsession thing.
Health and feeling comfortable in your own skin are separate things. It just happens to be that often they go hand in hand.
Wonderful response! I often feel like a freak on the high street because I just don’t fit their clothes, but then the beautiful internet has made me feel better. Healthy and happy is how I wish to be!
This is why I wear vintage. I know my measurements inside out, but I have no idea what ‘size’ I am because it’s different in every shop. I’m not ashamed of my measurements, they don’t come with any connotations, they’re just ‘me’ and I buy things to fit them.
Naming the sizes is just pigeonholing women even further. We are women, not walking cliches. How is ‘burlesque’ meant to mean a larger size? Do they think there are no tiny burlesque artists? Jeez…
Exactly! Flipping heck I’d have to be some label like “Carry On Film Extra” Hehe.
I do the same- just try it on. Everyone knows the numbers differ shop to shop.
Today’s blog post on body confidence and our attitudes to dress size http://t.co/hquBDxcRE9
RT @Retrochick_uk: Today’s blog post on body confidence and our attitudes to dress size http://t.co/hquBDxcRE9
RT @Retrochick_uk: Today’s blog post on body confidence and our attitudes to dress size http://t.co/hquBDxcRE9
@Retrochick_uk Excellent blog post! Hear, hear!
@ZMarriott @Keris this is a good post I read today on similar note http://t.co/QLuYJ9MIOM
Very valid points Gemma “@Retrochick_uk: Today’s blog post on body confidence and our attitudes to dress size http://t.co/CBraLs7JYi”
@Retrochick_uk that is so silly. Why don’t they just use actual measurements like men? Can’t argue with a tape measure.
It’s so bizarre to think that a number on a scale can affect self-esteem so much! From the industry’s point of view, they are trying to produce as few sizes that will fit as many of their own customers as possible. I admit I used to be upset as a young’un when I walked into the new Superdry store in town and the biggest size didn’t even do up over my chest, but that’s hardly anything personal – just a lack of diversity in sizing that the brand should address if they want to keep business. As long as I look sassy and awesome in my clothes, it doesn’t matter what the number on the hanger says – if I look good in a piece of clothing I’ll buy it, regardless of it being a 6 or a 10 or an 18. Besides, everyone probably has a plethora of sizes in their wardrobe and that number is becoming so meaningless.
This is not a rant at all, but an excellent piece of writing. We as a society need to be more accepting of body size and shape. Those who are larger aren’t necessarily unhealthy; it is also possible to be slim and unhealthy. It is only in the last few years that I have become happy with my own body size and shape. I have been every size from very skinny to looking like the Michelin man and a few years ago I had difficulty fitting into a size 16 pair of trousers (I am only 5’3″) and something HAD to be done as it was starting to affect my already chronic ill health. I decided to join a well known slimming club and as well as losing 3 stones the members were an amazing group of women when it came to supporting and helping others to a more positive body image. Now I have clothes in my wardrobe that range from a 10 – 14/16, I wear skin tight dresses and have discovered that pencil skirts suit me, when previously I was not a skirt wearer as they tended to “cut me in half”. Now all I need to do is to find a shirt or blouse which fits both my bust and my waist!
Figure “Flaws”, Fashion and Futility http://t.co/cVJn5py0BW
A brilliant and worthy rant!
I remember a fantastic time back in the 80’s where women’s shapes were NEVER an issue. No one was ever ashamed of their shape or size and most certainly never had a complex. I was always teeny tiny and shaped like a twiglet. Now I am 48 next week and shaped like an ironing board with bobbly bits (my perception) lol but after 2 children and nearly a half century I would like to say how proud I am of me for being me in my own skin. I put weight on very quickly now but refuse to be pigeon holed as mis shapen, old, wrinkly or unattractive because I am not 25 and a size 0. My grandfather said 40 years ago to my mother ‘ there is beauty in every age and size’ I rest my case 🙂
This is a really well thought out post and I totally agree with you here. For a while I struggled with accepting my body shape (i’m rather straight up and down and desperately wanted some kind of shape to my body) but in the end, I accepted that I am what I am and while some things might look better on more curvy women, there are plenty of things that look great on me, too. (plus, peplum skirts and shirts are great at giving the illusion of curves if ever I feel so inclined) xx
I think an interesting comparison to body shape is hair. It’s only natural to long for what you haven’t got at least some of the time (e.g. curly girls wishing to have straight locks, and vice versa; or redheads turning to the bottle to hide it, but hoards of others reaching for the red dye). However, whilst this quality is also fairly inextricably tied to image, there is not such a culturally “good” or “bad” way to be. Maybe because there is no number for hair with which to measure.
I think I learnt to paddle my own canoe some years ago because I’m simply taller (often 6″ or 9″ taller) than the majority of other women I’m surrounded by, so comparing clothes sizes is completely futile! I’m particularly glad of this mindset now that I’m on a full time degree course during my mid-thirties. Studying manual therapy techniques means we have to whip our clothes on and off to practise on each other with regular monotony. If I hadn’t previously come to appreciate my curves (I have a similar large hips and small waist to Retro Chick) the comparison to girls half my age, all of us often in our underwear, might’ve killed me!
This is a subject close to my heart and hand on heart I still haven’t accepted who I am at 47 and it makes me sad I wish I could. I’m afraid I’m one of the fat/fit brigade (although not so much at the moment due to injury!). It frustrates the hell out of me that no matter how much I exercise and how much I ‘diet’ I rarely get under a 16 and I’m short too! However I was just chatting to a friend on FB last night who’s very thin, we were discussing dressmaking which we both do – fortunately with our own challenges! – she said it’s no fun being too skinny either, she said so many people said she looked anorexic she went to the docs, and she’s fine, just naturally skinny.
I just wish we could all accept who we are, whilst maintaining our healthly eating and exercise.
I am lucky in that I buy either vintage or make my own, I know my measurements, but I don’t like them. I have been thinner but I’m at a certain age and seem to have lost all waist I ever had 🙁
As soon as I saw that Guardian piece I thought of you – I nearly sent the link to you, but figured you’d probably see it very soon anyhow. Why can’t manufacturers just put the sizes in inches and centimetres on garments? It makes such a difference! Especially as bodies vary so widely – and the larger people are, the more room there is for variance as different bodies store fat differently. It makes a lot more sense than calling people a ‘Marilyn’ or a ‘Twiggy’ or [insert name of young, white woman here].
Briliant!!! I totally agree!
Oh how I love this and all the wonderful comments, too. What always gets so lost in both intelligent conversations about size and the moronic, are people like me. I have a large, athletic, wide shouldered and large bust figure. Like a very tall women who didn’t get long legs. I was a 70’s US15, called fat when I wasn’t, always a bit too large for most clothing lines. Oh I gained weight all right, because in part I already felt fat, up to a US 20W. I’m into fitness and good food, not diets and am down to a UK18. The upsizing of straight size clothes has helped me. I’m no longer the largest at Boden or Gap. And I don’t fit fuller cut plus. I think the shops could offer size ranges in various cuts, but not those lunkhead names. But I wish folks would understand that I’m not a “fat size 6” but this is all me with just a wee bit of belly and bingo wings to trim. I will always be an L, never a S or M. Only have a few vintage pieces and starting to sew again. Glad to see all the indie lines with wide size and shapes now!
Oops, I had a typo in my link. It’s a (non-profit) page listing lots of sources of US14-16/UK16-18 clothes. http://styleontheedge.com/ Again, thanks for the wonderful essay.
A fantastic blog post on Figure “Flaws”, Fashion and Futility by @Retrochick_uk http://t.co/FBcShgGSYo
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Very well put. Dress size in my opinion is not a number but a state of mind. Just like sexiness and happiness.
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