My Vintage Confession

I have a confession to make.

I’m not really a vintage blogger.

When I started this blog I ran a vintage and second-hand clothing eBay shop. I posted little collages of clothes I had for sale, jazzed up with a few modern accessories, and sometimes of modern clothes given a retro look. I had the strapline “Vintage Clothing & Retro Style” which is probably still dotted around on old abandoned outfit sharing profiles and defunct social media sites.

My first ever header.

Retro Chick Header BK NEW

Then it evolved, and as it evolved, so did “vintage” I found my vintage bargains for my outfit posts in charity shops and on eBay and I posted outfit photos and hair tutorials. I might not have dressed totally authentically vintage, but I set my hair every day and had an authentic midi cut. Then, while the rest of the world was discovering “vintage”, covering it in bunting printed with cupcakes, learning to knit, sew and crochet and pushing up the prices in Charity Shops to the point where my anger at being faced with a £10 second hand Primark dress made me begin to abandon them, I discovered running, and roller derby. When you spend at least 4 days a week getting all sweaty and then having an hour to get ready to go out suddenly that authentic midi cut becomes a pain, and elaborate hair sets an occasional occurrence (I actually do still set my hair in a very simple way most times I wash it, because I’m far too lazy to blow dry it!)

So now I have a bob, I have a gym wardrobe almost as big as my regular wardrobe. I wear a lot of vintage inspired High Street, because those hours trawling the charity shops aren’t as productive as they used to be and cost just as much. I run, sometimes I lift small weights (I’d lift big ones but there aren’t any in my house and I can’t afford the gym), I roller skate and I wear a mouth guard and a helmet and I hit people, then I go home and I drink protein shakes and cocktails and I order Chinese food, which I occasionally eat off of vintage plates.

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Photo courtesy of Near the Coast

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE pin curls and finger waves, victory rolls, stockings and red lipstick, but I’m increasingly finding that the rest of the world assumes things about you when they hear the word Vintage.

So today. I decided it was time for a confession.

I’m not vintage at all, and here’s why.

I can’t sew.

Well, I can whip out a hotel sewing kit and sew on a button, or badly stitch a seam, but I can’t even take up a hem without wundaweb. I won’t be knocking up a circle skirt in an afternoon because I have nothing to wear tonight, I’ll be popping into Primark, hating everything, and then digging my trustworthy black dress out of the bottom of the washing basket and spraying it with Febreeze so no one can tell.

photo by Miss Messie

I have the hugest respect for people who can sew. You are amazing, but please don’t offer to teach me. I turned 35 this year and have spent about 25 of those years convincing myself I will learn to sew. I am too impatient. I made a pair of shorts at school when I was 12, I measured everything perfectly, but forgot you had to allow a means to get in and out of them or extra allowance for actually moving, so while everyone else spent all summer in their lovely shorts, I had a pair of hot pants the exact same size as my body with no way in or out of them. I had to pay for that fabric too.

I can’t knit or crochet.

At all. I worked in a wool shop when I was 15 and they tried to teach me with no joy. A few years back I got a video and some knitting needles and some wool that have never made it out of the packaging.

Yes, I am jealous of all of you ladies with handmade, perfectly fitted authentic 1930s jumpers. No, I don’t want you to teach me how to knit. I have accepted that I just don’t have the patience for this crafty malarkey.

I don’t bake.

I’m fairly sure I could. I mean how hard can mixing stuff and following a recipe be? I don’t though.

Mr Chick occasionally bakes. I think it looks messy, you get dough on your hands when you have to knead things and flour all over the kitchen that you have to tidy up. I know several very talented local bakers who will sell me cakes if I want them, and at a pinch there’s Sainsburys. Personally I think it tastes BETTER when I haven’t had to spend 4 hours washing up the equipment and scraping dough out of crevices.

I don’t Swing Dance.

I used to, well, me and Mr Chick used to throw each other round to music when we were drunk, for one song before we got too knackered and had to sit down. Then we discovered vintage people don’t dance like that so much and they want to teach you steps and know what sort of dancing you do. So we stopped.

It looks TOTALLY cool when other people do it. Me, I find it cuts into my drinking time too much and I merely politely shake my head when people offer me their hand for a dance. I’ll occasionally throw out a quick Charleston step when no one’s looking though and sometimes I end up in the sort of nightclub where your feet stick to the floor and have to be dragged off the dance floor for my own safety if Christina Aguilera comes on.

Except apparently sometimes I do….

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I don’t have a sweet tooth.

Why is it that whenever people throw “vintage” parties they want me to eat cupcakes? I’d honestly genuinely prefer a pork pie if it’s all the same with you?

At Naomi’s book launch a few years ago there were pork pies disguised as cupcakes, that’s my kind of party.

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I don’t think I was “born in the wrong era”

I think I was born in the perfect era. One where I get to play around with the looks of all the decades that have come before, largely without judgement. One where I can pull out the glamour one day, and then go to the supermarket in my Roller Derby kit the next without anyone caring.

I live in an era where the washing takes an hour in a machine, and the washing powder comes in little capsules, an era where I can earn my own money, keep my name when I get married and talk about politics without being told not to worry my pretty little head about it. I like this era. I have an app on my phone that tells me where the nearest pub is and another that tells me what the weather will be like. IT’S THE FUTURE! The 50s sucked, the 30s and 40s probably sucked even more, especially when all your loved ones were being called up to certain death in a field in the middle of Europe. I might occasionally harbour the odd fantasy, normally part way through an episode of Poirot or Jeeves & Wooster, that I might have quite fancied being a rich upper class woman in the late 20s and early 30s. Mostly, though, I’m happy right here.

I don’t like Frills and Florals.

I think there are 2 pieces of floral fabric in my house. One of them is a large modern print floral on my bedroom curtains. The other is a slightly twee floral on top of a vintage blanket box that you can never see as it is covered in clothes. I own a few very “girly” frocks, but I really have to be in the mood for them. Puffed sleeves, bows, ribbon belts and flounces, unless in serious moderation, make me feel like I’m wearing a 5 year olds party frock, and I’m not a 5 year old, I’m a grown up who can change a plug (probably, I might have to look it up first).

I LOVE Modern Technology.

Seriously. I’ve loved books my whole life, but I welcome the arrival of the kindle as it means I can carry hundreds of them around with me at all times.

Email and texting? Awesome, I need never have an actual conversation using my voice again unless I really actually want to. I hate phone calls, writing letters is a pain and you have to take them to the post box. It might be lovely to receive a letter, but once you have it you don’t want to throw it away as it is special, and thus your house is full of bits of paper that you will never again read and your relatives will send to the local charity shop when you are dead where they will either be thrown away, or sold to other soppy vintage people who will cut them up and make them into art, or post photos of your private correspondence on the internet, or whatever its future successor will be called.

My TV? It’s right in the middle of my living room where it belongs. No, not taking up an entire wall with it’s immense 60″ stylings, only stupid people do that unless they live in a mansion, but it is where I can see it. Not hidden in a box or behind a curtain that will flap around and mean I can’t see the latest episode of SHIELD properly.

There it is look, I didn’t even tidy up before I took the photo!

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So there you have it, my confession.

I might swig my fizzy wine from vintage coupes, wear gloves and carry a parasol and fan on sunny days, but I’m afraid my dress probably came from Warehouse and I found my way using Google Maps.

Should I be hanging up the word “vintage” from my vocabulary? What vintage cliches do you not fit into?


Comments

169 responses to “My Vintage Confession”

  1. Becky avatar
    Becky

    I totally agree with this. I only recently discovered “vintage” style, but that is it for me, a style. I do want to learn to sew, only because being 5″ gets a bit pricey at constantly getting stuff shortened. But, i agree, couldn’t be without modern technology. I appreciate the elegance of classic and mid-century style, but sometimes to much hassle. I mean, i am worst enemies with the wet set! Blow-dry and curling tongs all the way. However, i hope this confession isn’t signaling an end for Retro Chick, as love the blog!

    1. Gosh no! What would I do without a blog to witter on about rubbish on! 😀

  2. A Gemma! I love this post!! *high five*!

  3. I like having my cake (or pork pie) and eating it too 🙂 When my mum and I watch an old film she always says to me ‘thank goodness I didn’t live back then’… then mentions a load of things that she wouldn’t have been happy to do without – namely a washing machine, a car and seems definite that if she’d lived far enough back she would have been at the bottom of the pecking order and been a serf!

    I agree that it’s fab to be able to pick and choose what look you go for – the best of ‘vintage’ styles with all the benefits of mod cons.

    I’m not going to lie – I am partial to the odd floral and frilled dress… don’t judge me! 😛

    http://www.mancunianvintage.com

    1. Someone people look awesome in frills and florals. I am not one of them! I am judgement free 😀

  4. Great post! I think we all define ourselves far too much anyway, since I started blogging I’ve found it a bit scary and worried about not being “vintage” enough. I don’t think you need to do any of the things listed above to be vintage anyway, it also doesn’t have to be a full time thing. Wearing gym clothes one day and a beautiful feminine dress the next doesn’t mean you like vintage any less, it just means your being yourself! xxx

  5. The idea of ‘being vintage’, as if vintage is really an adjective to be thrown around when describing yourself, is pretty naff really. I’ve really enjoyed seeing your style evolve into pink hair and pop-art cartoon motifs; the blossoming of your confidence is properly inspirational.

    My own approach is that the past is something to be plundered eclectically and enthusiastically, but not slavishly or with imposed (either self or otherwise) rules and regulations. It’s meant to be fun! It was a way of avoiding ‘scenes’ or tribes when I was a teenager, and it remains the same for me now I’m 34.

    And yes, living in 2014 is pretty excellent really. Sure, I wish I were living in a world where property was still affordable and UKIP didn’t exist, but being able to watch all my favourite old films and tv programmes whenever I want on crisp quality DVDs and find likeminded souls through my magical computer box is a pretty good trade-off… 😉

    1. Aw thank you! 😀

  6. Jo Wendes avatar
    Jo Wendes

    Awww who cares what you do or don’t do!
    You are you and that’s cool!
    Being an individual is important in whatever way possible and what others think is irrelevant!
    As for baking, pft to that! Morrison’s sell cakes!!!!!

    1. Very true 😀

  7. Elizabeth avatar
    Elizabeth

    This is the best blog post I have read this week.

    Today I packed my little vintage suitcase with a vintage frock and some ancient paperbacks – and a can of dry shampoo and an iPad. Best of both worlds innit. 😀

  8. Laura avatar
    Laura

    Ha ha! Brilliant! I think most of us who love vintage have done the whole authentic underwear, hair setting thing…but times change and so does personal style. I hardly ever get my vintage wardrobe out since I had a baby – it’ll get ruined plus it doesn’t quite fit the same 🙂 I’m happy with that, I learned a huge amount about fashion history through my vintage years plus I do sew (sorry!) so it really helped with learning proper techniques. Anyway it’s your right to interpret ‘retro’ which ever way you choose!

  9. Porcelina avatar
    Porcelina

    This post is amazing!!! I hear you on so many different levels. I love vintage, don’t get me wrong, and I love waffling on about vintage books, sideboards and things I found in the car boot sale on my blog. But like you, I find ‘true’ vintage clothing these days out of budget, so I wear high street mainly, and I made a skirt once a few years back before deciding sewing was too hard, time consuming and pricey, as I could just buy what I wanted for half the cost of the fabric and ‘notions’. Being told I was born in the wrong era is a pet hate of mine, because I quite like being in an era where I can be financially independent and not under the thumb of either a husband or a father. People also misjudge things i might like, they think, oo she likes dresses, therefore she must love campervans (no, hotels all the way at my age quite frankly). I’m afraid ‘vintage’ has become a little category that people can put you in, but it will probably pass in a few years, so I’m hoping to ride it out until then.

    Anyway, to add to the above: I can’t knit or crochet, I only bake low carb these days, I can’t swing dance (have you tried Lindy Hop? Excruciating!!), I’m not overly into frills and florals, and I definitely LOVE my laptop. And Star Trek box sets.

    I don’t care what you call yourself, vintage or not, I love seeing your dresses, no matter where they came from!
    P x

  10. Whenever people claim they was born in the wrong era I have to strangle back a remark. There’s no tampons, birth control or EPIDURALS! Damn we don’t get equality or take away pizza. Apart from pretty thing it was pretty bad, it changed for a reason.

  11. ladanu avatar
    ladanu

    Ha ha, I do like a girl who mixes it up a bit. I don’t do the dressing and hair everyday, I do make my own clothes but that’s pure self indulgence. I do a bit of dancing too as its a good excuse to dance with boys half my age. No cake and no pies, just like you I just do what I want to, and that’s what its all about.

  12. Helen Highwater avatar
    Helen Highwater

    Hahahahhahaha, Blog of the Month!

    I can’t sew either – ironically, all the PCs at my school were put on the old sewing tables, so we’d be learning how to make spreadsheets on Excel on a table that had a big brass ruler along one side.

    I can knit, but I don’t make time for it. I bake, but rarely – in 2012 it was all about cake, in 2013, it was homemade quiche. Omma-nomma-nom.

    I would far rather mosh at a gig than swing dance, jive or stroll.

    I think few people would think I was “vintage”, despite the fact that I ran a shop that sold vintage for all those years. I just like what I like really. And it’s mainly from Marks and Spencers….

  13. Gemma I absolutely love you.

    As someone who loves vintage clothes and styling, people assume that I wish I grew up in that era when I don’t. I love having my freedom – I love that I can live on my own without people gossiping that I’m not “fit” for marriage; I love that I have a career and don’t have to depend on a man to bring home the money; and I love my career allows me to work on new, developing technology.

    There are certain things from those times that I value, but I completely relate to this post – you can love the vintage era without turning your back on the present.

    Eloquently written, as always Miss Seager 🙂 xxx

  14. I heartily applaud your ‘confession’ – especially the living in the right era bit! I love vintage fashion (and hairstyles!), I have no illusions that I would have been happy living in the past. I can sew and knit and bake and even find food in the wild and skin animals and cure their hides, because I was the child of hippies convinced the world was going to be some kind of distopian disaster zone by now. Despite these awesome skills, I don’t very often whip up a circle skirt in an afternoon! I do make corsets and amazing fancy dress costumes though. I cycle my kids to school dragging a double trailer, and pin curls don’t work very well under a bike helmet… but I like wearing vintage sometimes, and I like reading about it, and most of all I like reading the funny thoughts and opinions of a similarly enlightened and modern woman with a passion for pretty things and fun things. So, keep blogging and don’t be put off by the vintage police who’d like us all in frilly aprons and nylons all day, being ‘proper’ women.

    1. I am massively jealous that you can skin animals and cure their hides, that is the most awesome skill to have!
      And thank you, that is the nicest comment 😀

  15. Ah, I love this post, and was actually just discussing this very issue with another blogger yesterday… I have never actually been into true vintage, or even in creating authentic looks using modern/repro stuff, but I do love 50s-style clothes, and have a lot of reproduction stuff (which I always wear with modern shoes and hair: I also run, and I have to wash my hair every day, so there’s no way I’d have the patience for vintage ‘dos, even if I wanted to. I don’t think they suit me anyway, though, so it’s just as well!), which means people quite often peg me as a vintage lover. I’ve always been a bit embarrassed about it, to be honest, because I’m not even remotely vintage: most of my circle skirts are from ASOS, and while I absolutely love seeing other people in full-on retro looks, there’s just no way I could pull that off myself without feeling like I was in fancy dress. (Oh, and I can’t sew, bake or do ANY kind of crafting, and snorted into my coffee at your line about ‘cupcakes and bunting’ – hee!)

    Anyway, this post was a breath of fresh air for people like me: I think it’s great to be able to pick and choose which elements of a particular style we want to follow – it’s what makes it interesting 🙂

    1. I guess I do a mix. I’ve pretty much always looked upon my wardrobe as a dressing up box, so it depends what mood I’m in.
      I don’t wash my hair every day, I’m way too lazy for that, I spray it with dry shampoo and get the straightners on it!

  16. The Queer Nomad avatar
    The Queer Nomad

    I’m surprised at the subdued anger in this, but then I haven’t hung out in “vintage” circles 😉 Maybe some people confuse “vintage” with a very narrowly defined middle class housewifeness of previous times?

    Personally I love vintage clothing, but I don’t associate anything with it, let alone a certain lifestyle. Vintage to means simply means clothes from previous decades (I draw the line at late 70s, early 80s), nothing else. Neither my grandmother or great-grandmother were into any of these “vintage” pastimes, likes or attitudes you mention here, so I guess they weren’t real then 🙂 ?

  17. Tiffany D. avatar
    Tiffany D.

    I loved reading this because you and I are so different! I knit, bake, love sweets, am uncomfortable around technology and am learning how to sew. Your post really interested me because I would never consider myself “vintage” but I definitely think you’re “vintage.” I guess it doesn’t really matter what the label is, as long as you do what you like to do. Your blog inspired me to wear fun & noticeable clothing (like crazy colored tights or my great-grandmother’s brooches) so keep doing your thing! 🙂

  18. I like to think I can sew, but I really can’t. Last time I tried sewing the stitches wouldn’t hold and I kept wondering what I’d done wrong. It turns out it’s a good idea to put the bobbin in before you start sewing. Who’d have thunk it.
    Rubi

  19. I feel like you took the words out my mouth (except the baking part, I do love baking!). I love the music and looking at yesteryear, but when it comes down to it I like my style, my laptop, and the ability to be guilt-free about not setting my hair every night.

  20. Bah, I wrote a really good reply and my tablet ate it. I hope you don’t get two variations of the same reply.

    On the subject of modern technology; I love my kindle, washing machine, hoover, dishwasher, central heating and ironing service. I also love antibiotics, modern medicine and the NHS, and of course my tablet, my smartphone and the internet without which I would not be typing this!

    I can knit, sew, bake and dance but the first three are because I want to not because I have to. The dancing is because I studied Performing arts for seven years and it was obligatory. Hell, I can also milk a cow and pluck a chicken but I still prefer to take my circle skirted, peep toed self to Sainsbury’s to buy it ready done. People did all of these things because unless you had a lot of money if you didn’t make it yourself then you went without. I have enough aunts and uncles born pre War and pre NHS to disabuse any “born in the wrong era” ideas I may have thought about having!

    As for clothes, hair and makeup; I wear vintage inspired, reproduction vintage and occasionally the real thing which I managed to buy before the rest of the world discovered “vintage” (and decorated it in cupcakes and bunting!) and prices started to become silly. I rarely set my hair because I’m lazy but I do love my red lipstick, which I have worn since I discovered makeup. I do think that people who dress completely in vintage style look amazing but it just isn’t my thing, unless I was going to an event or party. Telling somebody that they aren’t “proper vintage” is just snobby. Surely it isn’t about being labelled “authentic” but about being labelled as “yourself”.

  21. Quite a few of my “vintage icons” don’t fit those stereotypes either. They seem to have come about as vintage became mixed up with a certain brand of Boden and Cath Kidston wearing middle class twee. I can’t see Jean Harlow whipping up cupcakes or Jayne Mansfield bemoaning how things are too “sexy” compared to the past.

    I would say you are vintage but more of a foxy dame than a housewife!

  22. I love this post! I relate to so much of this. I don’t feel authentically vintage (whatever that is) but I find non-vintage folks expect me to be. I get introduced as a vintage expert at parties and then get asked awkward questions, people are always telling me I was born in the wrong era, when I am quite happy with this one! I rarely set my hair, most of my clothes are High St or reproduction, I can’t sew/knit. I can bake but not for fun. I did do a few jive lessons, but not good at dancing with a partner, I’m more of a throw random enthusiastic shapes kinda dancer! Still love vintage shopping though and regularly trawl the charity shops, but even there end up with reproduction as I like a bargain! I see vintage as inspiration rather than a lifestyle and I am inspired but lots of things from many decades.

  23. I blimmin’ love vintage clothes, though I only went from ogling them to wearing them a few years ago. I love going to vintage markets. I love finding a vintage or, Phwoar!, an antique handbag or piece of jewellery. But…I’m not vintage, either. Can’t sew, knit, crochet, dance (at all, save for some hip wiggling in the Boy’s direction occasionally), bake anything that isn’t from my First Cook Book that I was given aged five, give up my i-everything, or high street shops. But I say, who decided we had to be Vintage to enjoy vintage things? There’s enough labels in the world, and I’m happy to peel off as many as I can. Not being able to do all of those things doesn’t mean I treasure my golden oldie possessions anymore than someone who can do all of that. Sod the stove-slaving and skirt-stitching – I’m going shopping 🙂

  24. Honor Needham avatar
    Honor Needham

    I can only echo what others have very eloquently stated. I’ve followed your blog for a while, and I like how you see the world and how you fit it it. You seem a happy, well adjusted person. You do lots of stuff, which includes pints of bitter (yay) and I like reading about it. Please continue 🙂

  25. I love this post so much I want to marry it.
    As much as I love vintage clothing and vintage fashion, I would never want to live in any other time period than the one that I’m in now. I have the freedom to wear what I want, say what I want, and do what I want in a way that women have had at no other point in history. There’s a vintage forum (which I won’t mention by name) where people rhapsodize at great length about how awesome everything was up until the 60s, and how nowadays kids with their damn rap music and skinny jeans and saggy pants need to get off their lawns. It’s like, what? It sounds like I’m a bit more into frippery and frills than you are, but that’s pretty much were my interest in vintage stops. Sure, I cook, and yeah, I like dresses, but I’m perfectly happy in the here and now, thankyouverymuch. I identify as a feminist, and I’m very involved in social justice issues, so it drives me crazy that people can look back at that time period with such rose colored glasses.
    Ok. Got a bit ranty there, but it’s just so nice when someone writes something so refreshingly honest, and which I agree with so much. Thank, thank you! for posting this. If you’re interested, I’ve actually got a couple of posts on my blog about the assumptions that people tend to make about me when I’m in vintage, and why they drive me nuts.

  26. Gemma, I think your swell just the way you are. So many people want to lable people by how they dress, kind of like judging a book by the cover. As you say this is the future and the best part of the future is we mishmash all the things we love about the past with new and innovative things. I might love vintage clothes and the like, but I’m also a professor of Web Development, so go figure. In the end the past helps us shape the future we want, so both will always be apart of our lives!

  27. Hi there, I love this post! I love a lot about the fashions of the past and would probably call myself a vintage lover, but I don’t believe that you need to go back to living like a 1950’s housewife! Like you, I like to have some old things (old wooden framed suitcases, rhinestone necklaces, brooches, and champagne saucers!), but I couldn’t live without the conveniences of modern life. And as for vintage clothing, while I own a few pieces, I’m also generally happier with modern clothes which aren’t overpriced, moth eaten and I don’t have to worry about looking after them. I hate the certain snobbery that can exist within in the vintage community that everything should be “authentic”. So well done on this post, I’m sure you’ll find lots of other people share your point of view too. However…..I am partial to florals and frills! 😉

  28. And here I was thinking you did your blog posts on a typewriter and scanned them in 😉

    I understand where you’re coming from. My love of 50s dresses doesn’t mean I could make one and I’ll only bake something if it’s going to be REALLY quick and is guaranteed to taste amazing.

    Keep having fun doing what you love, and don’t worry about the things you don’t!

    Gemma

    http://fleetingplanet.blogspot.co.uk

  29. I love you! Was reading this post going “yes, yes, OMG yes!” (except the part about the sweet tooth as I’d have the cakes *and* the mince pies). You will let me know if you come to London for a bout, right? I *so* wish I had the time to devote to roller derby.

  30. I have to say I totally agree with a lot of this! I can’t really sew. I burn water when I am cooking. I can kinda dance a little though…

  31. Shauna avatar
    Shauna

    I think all of these reasons are what make your blog so interesting! Sometimes when I scroll through “vintage” blogs, I forget which blog I’m actually looking at. They can have a tendency to blur together because a lot of their content is all the same. Cupcakes, florals, mending, cupcakes, florals, mending. After a while, it can start to seem repetitive and cliche. I think what is lacking in some “vintage” mindsets is the realization that real “vintage” people were not all cookie-cutter girls in back-seemed stockings and guys in fedoras! The variety is what makes people, then and now, interesting!

  32. Debbie Sixsmith avatar
    Debbie Sixsmith

    Mmmmmm….pie! I’m glad you’re not a martyr to ‘vintage’ and you encourage us all to enjoy it for what it is: fun!

  33. I get slightly annoyed when people say to me “I bet you feel you were born in the wrong era!” Always so awkward because I DON’T. Even in the 80s and 90s you had to conform or you were seriously made fun of. I’m glad it’s 2014 and we can wear whatever the fig we like. No one cares today — surely because technology like the internet is exposing even the smallest towns to a wide, weird WORLD!