#Janathon Day 27 – Flat Mat Gem
January 27, 2015
#Janathon Day 28 – Brrrrrrrrrr
January 28, 2015That’s a way trickier question than it sounds.
It’s a question we answer in different ways depending on where we are, and it’s a question that has different answers at different times of your life or even different times of day or different windows on your laptop.
I’ve been Gemma the temp, Gemma the Student, Gemma the Receptionist, Gemma the Team Manager, Gemma on the IT Support Desk, Retro Chick the vintage fashion blogger, Gemma the Fitness Blogger, Gemma from Vintage Norwich, Gem Warfare from the Norfolk Brawds, Gemma – Mummy & Daddy Chicks daughter, Gemma – Mr Chicks wife, Nurse Gemma, and a whole host of other different Gemmas, Gems and whatever other names people know me by.
But none of them are me, or maybe all of them are me. Since way back in 2010 I’ve been bemoaning the way that blogging can have of trying to tidy you into a little box, and at the moment I am struggling with it a little. I love writing this blog, but I know why people come here. I know because those are the posts that get the most views and the most comments. My occasional opinion posts are popular but mostly people want beautiful things, they like the outfit posts with quirky or vintage accessories, exciting hair styles and how to’s. But at the moment, I’m not feeling like that person, or I haven’t had time to be that person.
Sorry, I can’t remember the source of this photo, if it’s yours let me know!
Oh, don’t worry, she’s still there! The girl in the red lipstick with hair she made an effort with and the sparkly shoes, she’s still me, but since Christmas it’s been a struggle waking her up to post 3 times a week. The other me, the one with the bruises and the gym kit and the protein shakes has been on a bit of a mission. *That* me has been posting every single day. Getting back in shape after last years injuries and illness has become a priority. I want to play Roller Derby, and I want to play it well and having nice nails and setting my hair has temporarily taken a back seat. I want to get back in running shape, and I love the weight lifting sessions at the gym, and my weekly yoga. My weekends have become packed with gym sessions and practice and the few times I’ve been out I’ve got ready in a rush. Dark evenings make outfit photos difficult anyway, and I’ve been feeling a little guilty about the lack of interesting material I have for this blog as I know most of you don’t want to read about my first Co-Ed Roller Derby game, or how excited I am to have a spot skating in Eastern Sur5al, or how I’m training to get back in shape for a 10k in April.
Although most people don’t make the frequent wearing of red lipstick into a job and are therefore allowed to take a couple of months off obsessing about which is the most long lasting, my Facebook and Twitter feeds suggest that this isn’t a phenomenon specific to bloggers. So many of us seem to be filled with guilt as to how we can best fulfill our commitments and whether our personal priorities are all wrong at this time of our lives and we’re letting others down.
I see people taking up new hobbies or new ways of life seeing resistance from friends, family or work colleagues. Whether you’re a blogger or not, people will always be trying to fit you into a little box. It makes life easier to understand if you can define the people in it as one thing or the other, and sometimes people get uncomfortable when you try and get out of your box. Good/Bad, Girl/Boy, Passive/Aggressive, Feminine/Masculine defining people as one thing or the other might make them easier to deal with, but the fact is we can all be all these things because we’re not the same person all the time. At work we might be aggressive and go-getting, whilst our home relationships are defined by softness, passivity and stuffed toys.
Photo by Francesco Paolo Catalano
Life is a perpetual balancing act between our responsibilities and our passions but at the end of the day living YOUR life, YOUR way, is something only you can be responsible for. As I’ve got older I’ve got even more determined to live my life my way, and that means stockings and wet sets, comic book prints and crazy tights and mouthguards and bruises are all accessories I frequently sport, and that’s exactly the way I like it. People who put me into the vintage box are surprised when I’m not very vintage, people who think of me as a well groomed fashion obsessive are surprised to see me running in the rain and those who’ve got a vision of what a Derby Girl is like are surprised to see me worrying about a broken nail.
So forgive me if being pretty has taken a temporary back seat to being sweaty, if my nails aren’t polished in my outfit posts and my hair isn’t set, forgive me if some of my posts aren’t what you came here for, there will come a time when I’ll swing back to feeling more passionate about those things, but in the mean time I hope you’ll come along with me for the ride.
Fact is we are all multi-faceted human beings, and today I want to know a bit more about those facets of YOU.
Who Are You?
You might normally come here for pretty frocks and fancy shoes, but what would surprise people about you? Tell me your most surprising passions, and how you make space for them in your life.
47 Comments
I really like the rather eclectic mix of Gemmas – we’re all a mix of different ideas, passions, thoughts and feelings – some of them completely contrary to each other! Vive la difference (in ourselves as well as others!)
Absolutely! Makes life more interesting!
Love this blog! x
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Who Are You?: That’s a way trickier question than it sounds. It’s a question we answer in different ways depen… http://t.co/fq15LHMCiS
Who Are You?: That’s a way trickier question than it sounds. It’s a question we answer in different ways depen… http://t.co/mvpG4FfWhI
And this (THIS!!!) is why I follow you. xxx You are a well rounded, grown up, developed, interesting woman of substance and not *just* the lippy and heels (and the trainers and the wheels)! As a woman with a chronic illness who mostly posts pics of myself minus the bedhair, the crutches, the wheelchair and tends to ‘amp up’ the red lippy days myself, I understand, albeit in a much, much smaller way, how much people tend to pigeonhole based on what they see the most-we are very visual beings, after all. I guess then, it is down to us to remind them-exactly as you have done so well with this post-that we are ‘more than’ and that we are worth taking the time to delve deeper into and to not just skim red the cover and/or the back page ‘blurb’ most visible of our story. xxx
Yours is the first blog I ever started reading, god like years ago now when you used to sell on eBay, I very rarely comment (sorry I’m crap hehe) but I just wanted to say I like the variety of topics you post. Reading the same type of articles three times a week would probably get a little boring!
H eh! I’m an awful commenter too! I’m glad you enjoy a bit of variety though 😀
I like all the posts, variety is the spice of life after all! Xx
I totally agree. There are different facets to everyone but sometimes it seems people think we “should” be just one!
It’s easier for them! 😀
Variety is the spice of life, isn’t that the saying. I go through phases myself. I can be really passionate about reading for a month or so, then will change and won’t be able to get in to a book at all. Then i will have a phase were i love to bake, i have always been the same, i have phases were i love to paint my nails with funky designs, then other times i get bored and just really can’t be bothered. It is great to have lots of different passions all rolled in to one, makes for a more interesting person.
I like the mix and I like you are multifaceted like we all are. I find it easier to relate & makes things more human. Follow your joy.
Great post!
Lidia
http://www.lidiasbag.blogspot.it
I totally feel you on this – in fact, I’ve been rolling a post in the same subject around in my head for a couple of weeks now, after I posted a photo of my running shoes on Instagram and got a bunch of vaguely-condescending comments from people who obviously found the idea of me running absolutely hilarious (I’ve actually been running for years, I just don’t write about it much), and thought I must only be doing it so I could wear pink shoes or something… I think they see me as some kind of ‘Elle Woods’ character, who’d run in full makeup and perfectly-done hair, which is interesting to me, because I’m really not like that at all. I mean, like you, I like the red lipstick and the twirly dresses (and I *did* buy new running gear to motivate myself to get back into it after Christmas), but that’s just one part of my life/personality, and it was a bit of a wake-up call to realise that some people think that’s literally ALL there is to me (so much so that I actually ended up deleting the photo, just to stop people talking down to me). I know it’s partly my own fault, because I blog mostly about fashion and beauty, so those are the things people associate with me, but… yeah, it’s a bit frustrating to feel like you’re in a certain box you can’t get out of!
Oh no! You deleted the photo! I’d have deleted them 😀
Hi Gemma, I have just started a blog and learning as I go. What many do not know about me is that I lived in France as a student for 3 years several years ago. Since then I still keep in touch and visit with friends from my times there, remember the fun I had, and am on a mission to live in Europe again one day. I practice French still on and off, but when I get into New York City stress head, I always think “cafe culture is the life I will live again.”
Ooooh, how lovely!
I am terrible at commenting on blog posts *blush*
I think every single one of us is composed of many different facets and sometimes it’s a surprise to those who only see one side when another side becomes uppermost. But we should celebrate differences, it’s what makes us individual.
Personally I didn’t expect to like reading about Roller Derby but I am finding it really interesting – keep it up!
I think you should consider combining your blogs. They’re both different sides of you that make up one whole Gemma. I like reading Diary of a Vintage Girl and really enjoyed the period she was writing about her running club.
Amber I love reading your blog too and you should damn well post whatever you fancy. If people drop off because you’re writing about something different them sod them.
It’s lovely to find out what the other side of your favourite bloggers is.
I always think that too, I love to see another side of people!
I have started pulling the posts from Lipstick Lettuce & Lycra across to this blog so they have a section of their own called Health & Fitness, but don’t show up under the latest posts section. I keep thinking about bringing them together properly, but my other blog has it’s own little following as well now and I think I’d lose people!
I love this post. Because I can relate to it so much. Because this is how I am, but times 100! I’m like a ping pong ball. Frankly, it’s why I can’t have nice things. 🙁
Beautifully written Gem 🙂
Thank you lady!
So funny
Great post! Sms
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I think the two things that surprise people about me is my taste for rock music (I startled a poor young hipster in HMV by buying Iron Maiden CDs…) and my pottymouth, because I look like a chubby middle-aged lady in nanna clothes, and can make a docker blush if I’m inclined…
But be who you are, and don’t feel the need to apologise. If you become a slave to your blog, you’ll have lost the freedom that made you become a blogger in the first place!
I think rather like you, I can be very not girly, and that surprises people. I remember the comments I got from coworkers who found out that aside form my vintage fashion obsession I don’t like vintage things like music and movies, and I that I like horror movies, goth and metal music and even outdoor activities like camping! Yes I come to the blogs for the fashion, but I also love to read about everything you like to do! The bloggers I read, I like them because they are well rounded people, not just pretty outfits. ☺
This is such an interesting piece, very insightful. I have different facets to me also, horsey Jackie, theatrical Jackie, partner, daughter, sister, friend, vintage Jackie. I enjoy having these different mees, it makes my life interesting, happy riding, in jods and no makeup but also love ‘vintaging up’ and doing hair, red lippy, gorgeous outfit. I think it makes for an interesting life and person.
I really don’t know what would surprise people about me who read my blog or who know me personally, but people who don’t know me might be surprised to know that I have so many hobbies and that I nerd-out over little interesting facts like that Cary grant started out as a stilt-walker…
This is a great question for friends to ask friends. I just ran into an old club chick friend from our fierce party days. I told her I work in fashion and have a small business making handbags and clothing. I said remember me sewing and knitting in the dorm in college in the study rooms. She said, “what, come on, you were just always high and drunk like the rest of us.” I was surprised because other friends still laugh about me sewing while pals were drinking before leaving for the clubs. I can’t measure and drink. At the club, now that was different, haha! But yes, Gemma you are obviously multi-talented with varied interests, so nothing would surprise me that you would do. Keep at it!